Finding my Voice as a Parent/Artist

Celebrating my son's birthday, I think about how much has changed since he came into our lives.  I was terrified to become a parent- knowing how much it would take away from my time creating and my identity as an artist.  

Like most parents, I struggle with the challenges of balancing family and work. Like many mothers I bear the brunt of responsibility for my child’s care.  Long gone are the marathon work days, and late nights in the studio mean only a few hours of sleep before running after my early riser.  Overwhelmingly, these challenges push me to question my purpose and strengthen my resolve.  In the three years since my son was born, my work is stronger, more genuine and more focused than in the 20+ years of art making that came before. 

Looking at my subject matter through the eyes of a parent, I am even more convinced of the need to celebrate and preserve our complex and interconnected ecosystems.  With the repeal of environmental protections nation-wide and the devastating environmental impact of the border wall locally, I am forced to re-examine my artistic voice.  How do I respond when my instincts are to shut down in despair, or shout hatred and obscenities to the forces of destruction? 

As a mother, I know I don’t want to teach my child to ignore important issues, nor to join a shouting match where no one is listening and the end result is distrust and anger.  I want to teach him to breath, to focus on something bigger than now, to approach the world with curiosity, and to cultivate joy.  These are the qualities that now drive my artistic practice and give strength and focus to my work.   

March 2019