Jessica Monroe

I haven't posted since last year... I've been busy!  My big project all spring has been designing and building a school garden.  This project is the result of attending the Bioneers conference in October that I wrote about in my last blog, Values. It's been a lot of work, but also incredibly rewarding!  The students love it.  And I love having a new space to relax when I feel stressed out in my cement block classroom.  Check it out on our google groups page: http://groups.google.com/group/med-high-garden

In the week after Christmas before the new year my mind wanders.  I find it difficult to follow conversations.  I wonder if this year I'll find a balance and make art that is both beautiful and pertinent.  

As an artist, I have been paralyzed.  I don't know in what direction to go.  So instead of pursuing an "art" trip this October I went to San Rafael, CA to attend the bioneers conference.    There I was surprised to find myself completely surrounded by what I knew I had been craving.   And by surprised I mean elated and also terrified by what it meant for my future.  The theme was focused and joyful.  And what inspired me was not that these people were fixing global warming, but that they were taking the steps to fix the self and the community, and in doing so develop a better quality of life. 

It's surprising that as an artist I don't find the same inspiration from my own community.  Too often I find "art" created with little to no regard for its audience.  While this "green" movement focuses on networking, so many contemporary artists separate from a common audience and many even take an adversarial position- pushing something into view and daring anyone not to accept it. 

I attended a panel at the conference of artists who were making work based on environmental headlines.  In many ways it was the most difficult and insightful part of my experience.  While the subject of their work was relevant, the execution I found to be in such contrast to the values of the rest of the conference, it embarrassed me.

I remember one video artist who's work showed a woman in an over sized hat pulling a boat around a desert. The struggle was uncomfortable because it looked like an enormous waste of time and energy and I felt my energy drained- not because I related to the woman, but because it was such an effort to attribute meaning to the work. Eventually you see her put the damn thing into a mud puddle and start to row. And  while I could analyze the purpose it didn't move my heart, and the stronger thought screaming through my head was: This is Stupid!

The panel artists presented their works as important to spread the immediacy of the crisis and change people's hearts and actions. But as this particular artist described her process,  I thought it sounded more like art therapy. No solution was presented or could be drawn.  And  no experience was created where through a well presented series of images the viewer could relate to the situation.  I couldn't see how anyone who wasn't over educated and said things like, "it references the Romanticism of 19th century blah blah blah" (actually said) could find it palatable.

This type of art is not made for the common person.  My  concern is that if artists only make art for the "art world" it cannot be sustained.  And if art is only valid when it references some artist before it, we do not we leave room to explore this new and exciting change that dominates our future.

This is the root of my own crisis as an artist.  I desperately want to be a part of the contemporary art world, but it frustrates me.  I'm like a child who needs to come to terms with her parents not always being right and I have yet to let go of the need for acceptance.



 


 

Finally- I've got my new website up and running!  It's a start.  The painting and drawing page is a little sparse. It's amazing really, to live night and day painting and still when I put the pictures of all the ones I like together it doesn't seem like I've done anything at all.  I need better photos of my work, and an artist statement... but still- it's a start.   

Here's a picture of my latest one. I like that it's big!